Diddly Squat. Pigs might fly by Jeremy Clarkson

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy’s had his work cut out. And it’s now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there’s only one golden rule: Whatever you hope will happen, won’t. Enthusiastic and inventive schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb – although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy’s brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie’s still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that’s incoming. But he charges by the hour. But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat.